While Smiley is off on his Well-Deserved Vacation in Back Brusly, he left behind some items from past columns. These ran a decade or so ago. He hopes you enjoy them.
Ever since Lady Katherine became a matriculant, she’s been bringing home strange words.
The other evening she pointed out that lately both of us seemed to be suffering from a “psychonomadic” disorder.
I asked her what that might be.
She replied, “That’s when your mind wanders.”
John Allphin tells of the golfer (not one he plays with, of course) who was suspected of not always counting all his golf strokes.
When the gent announced that he had made a hole in one, one of his friends replied, “Great. How many strokes did it take you?”
The agony of de feet
Jerry Salling, of Opelousas, says, “My niece and her husband took their 4-year-old son, Austin, to Disney World.
“After several hours of walking through the park, Austin looked up at his dad and said, ‘Now I know why they call it Walk Disney.’ ”
The complete version
Hazel Arthur says grandson Brandon, 6, learned the Pledge of Allegiance in his class at Park Elementary, and evidently learned it very well indeed.
He recites it perfectly, but at the end adds, “You may all be seated.”
Says Hazel, “Every time we have a family gathering, he proudly recites it, to the delight of family and friends.”
And after he sings the Star-Spangled Banner, does he say “Play ball!”?
No calm before storm
Lettye Harris offers this tale of WAFB-TV’s legendary weatherman Tex Carpenter:
“He was giving information on a hurricane in the Gulf and trying to stick an eye-shaped template on his map, but the thing kept falling off.
“After several unsuccessful attempts, he threw it out of sight and said, ‘Oh, hell, somebody down around Donaldsonville call me when you see the eye coming your way!’ ”
Thought for the Day
From Mel Prust: “The genius of modern technology is to build things to last for 50 years, then make them obsolete in three years.”
No Victoria’s Secret
Glenn, of Prairieville, says, “After a weekend filled with the husbands obsessing over Tigers and Saints, a co-worker asked her mama what she wanted for Christmas.
“She said, ‘An LSU uniform and helmet!’
“Since she was not known as a sports enthusiast, her daughter asked her why.
“Mama replied, ‘Maybe then my husband will pay me some attention!’ ”
Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0351 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.