Smiley Anders for July 16, 2012

J.Y. Johnson, of Livonia, says, “Julia, my 15-year-old daughter, reminded me why I struggled so much in math when I was in high school.

“One Sunday morning she and a friend who had slept over decided they wanted to walk down to Penny’s Diner for breakfast.

“Before leaving she turns to me and says, ‘Dad, all I have is $14; I sure would feel more comfortable if I had $20.’

“So I grab a $20 (bill) out my wallet and hand it to her, thinking I would get the $14 in return.

“She takes the $20, stuffs it in her pocket and turns to go. “Stunned, I say, ‘Julia, I don’t think that came out right.’

“She turns to me and says, ‘Yeah, I know, I’ll get that 6 bucks you owe me later.’”

Speaking of math

Margaret Bacon Miller says, “I saw this one in a local coffee shop — a young adult in a T-shirt on which was written ‘97% of people don’t get it — I’m in the 4% who do!’ ”

Also “Way cool!”

“Grammarian Grandma” says, “Let’s all ‘give it up’ for Smiley for ending the ‘irritating phrases’ discussion! Awesome! Rad!”

Health report

Rhetta Sellers liked our mention of phrases sure to bring a smile to your face:

“My husband, Monty, had a plethora of ‘Alabamaisms.’

“My favorite one was that whenever anyone asked how he was feeling, his reply was, ‘Better all over more than anywhere else.’ ”

Turn ’em in!

Randy Barksdale says readers who see highway littering can call the Louisiana Litterbug Hotline at [phone]:

“A live operator at the Department of Wildlife & Fisheries will take pertinent info: license plate number, vehicle description, location and time.

“They will send the perpetrator a ticket — no matter if they are from Louisiana or out of state, and no matter the trash; cigarette butts to cups to cardboard boxes.

“This is a great number to store in your phone.”

Worthy causes

• On Thursday from 11 a.m. to 9 p.m., Family Service of Greater Baton Rouge benefits from “Dining to Donate” at the Airline, Sherwood and Perkins Applebee’s restaurants.

Dine, present a flier, and 20 percent of your bill goes to Family Service. For information, go to [e-mail] or call [phone].

• On Saturday, Capital Area CASA Association starts its 18th annual “Casas for CASA” playhouse fundraiser by selling $5 raffle tickets in the Mall of Louisiana.

The fundraiser, presented by Holmes Building Materials, lasts until Aug. 12, when a safety fair, “CASA Kids Day,” will be held at the mall.

Call [phone] or visit http://www.casabr.org.

Dress your dog

Harley-Davidson of Baton Rouge hosts a “Harleywood K-9 Fashion Event” dog fashion show from 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. Saturday to aid Spay Baton Rouge.

Your pooch can win a “Pawscar” in one of three categories and have its picture taken by the “puparazzi.” (Really!)

Visit http://www.spaybatonrouge.org.

To keep you in stitches

Jean Bengtson says, “I have cleaned out my sewing room, and have over 900 yards of fabric, two small quilting frames, and bags of remnants I’d like to give to a good cause.”

She’s at [e-mail].

Special People Dept.

• Helen Loup, of Port Allen, celebrates her 90th birthday Thursday.
• Frank and Agnes Gros Newchurch celebrate their 60th anniversary on Wednesday.
• Cecile and Kenneth Johnson celebrate their 50th anniversary Saturday.

Siesta, anyone?

Spike Barras, noting our recent mention of a Spanish saying, offers another one:

“When I wake up I’m hungry, when I eat I fall asleep.”

The 11th Commandment

Chuck Willis, of Elizabethtown, Ky., says, “In the early ’70s we were teaching the 3 and 4 year-olds at Istrouma Baptist Church.

“We asked for their favorite Bible verses and got the usual “We are helpers” and “Love one another.”

“Then Pastor Garland McKee’s son Gil (now a pastor himself), chimed in with ‘Keep your hands to yourself!’

“Guess he heard that so much he thought it must be in the Bible somewhere.”

Off to Bubba’s

I’ll be on my Well-Deserved Vacation this week, at Bubba’s Exxon, Motel, Bistro & Bait Shop in Back Brusly.

Bubba says he just hired a “sue-chef” to help his executive chef, Large Marge, in the bistro’s kitchen.

I told him I thought that was “sous-chef,” but he explained that this guy was dealing with a considerable amount of litigation involving diners at the last place he worked, so the designation was accurate…

Write Smiley at [e-mail]. He can also be reached by fax at [phone] or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.