Stories of your kids, grandkids
Editor’s note: While Smiley is on his Well-Deserved Vacation, he’s left behind some of his favorite items from the past:
The Age of Plastic
Hank Richards says grandson Kendahl Kracher, 5, preparing for kindergarten, asked him for two quarters for extra milk at lunch.
Says Hank, “I told him I did not have two quarters in my pocket, but could get them from the car.
“To which he replied, ‘That’s OK, Pop, just give me your credit card.’ ”
Covering all bases
Jack Terry, of Morgan City, says a creative writing instructor asked students to compose a concise essay containing four elements: religion, royalty, sex and mystery.
The prize-winning essay read: “My God,” said the queen. “I’m pregnant. I wonder who did it?”
A critic’s eye
Linda Blanchard, of Pride, says, “One Sunday morning as I was applying my makeup to attend Mass, my 2½-year-old grandson, Cade Blanchard, of Prairieville, was sitting on his rocker watching me.
“As I completed my ritual, I looked at him and asked him if I looked pretty.
“He promptly replied, ‘NOT YET!’
“My husband and I got a good laugh out of that — perhaps too much laughter from my husband!”
Thought for the Day
From Richard Guidry, of Zachary: “The best way to keep your kids out of hot water is to put some dishes in it.”
Making Mother’s day
Terri Piercy, of Pineville, has put out a little book about the joys, more or less, of motherhood, titled “You might be a mother if … it’s just one damp thing after another!”
One observation: “You might be a mother if the last male to tell you that you are the prettiest girl in the world — stands only 3 feet tall.”
Weeding-out process
Cal Simpson, noting metal detectors placed at the entrances to the House and Senate chambers in the State Capitol, says:
“I think what they should install are MENTAL detectors, and only those with a positive reading would be allowed in.
“It would keep down the crowd.”
New math
Steve Bezet, of Plaquemine, says, “Want to know how many hunters there are in a south Louisiana family?
“Just count the rubber boots stuffed in between the cab and bed of the family pickup and divide by two!”
Batter up!
Glen L. Fink, of Walker, has a story about daughter Emily, 4:
“We went out to eat at a restaurant, and ordered onion rings. I noticed that Emily was only eating the batter.
“I asked, ‘Emily, you don’t like the onion?’
“She shook her head and said, ‘Daddy, I only like the RING!’ ”
Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0351 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.