Editor’s note: While Smiley is on his Well-Deserved Vacation, he’s left behind some of his favorite items from the past:
The Age of Plastic
Hank Richards says grandson Kendahl Kracher, 5, preparing for kindergarten, asked him for two quarters for extra milk at lunch.
Says Hank, “I told him I did not have two quarters in my pocket, but could get them from the car.
“To which he replied, ‘That’s OK, Pop, just give me your credit card.’ ”
Covering all bases
Jack Terry, of Morgan City, says a creative writing instructor asked students to compose a concise essay containing four elements: religion, royalty, sex and mystery.
The prize-winning essay read: “My God,” said the queen. “I’m pregnant. I wonder who did it?”
A critic’s eye
Linda Blanchard, of Pride, says, “One Sunday morning as I was applying my makeup to attend Mass, my 2½-year-old grandson, Cade Blanchard, of Prairieville, was sitting on his rocker watching me.
“As I completed my ritual, I looked at him and asked him if I looked pretty.
“He promptly replied, ‘NOT YET!’
“My husband and I got a good laugh out of that — perhaps too much laughter from my husband!”
Thought for the Day
From Richard Guidry, of Zachary: “The best way to keep your kids out of hot water is to put some dishes in it.”
Making Mother’s day
Terri Piercy, of Pineville, has put out a little book about the joys, more or less, of motherhood, titled “You might be a mother if … it’s just one damp thing after another!”
One observation: “You might be a mother if the last male to tell you that you are the prettiest girl in the world — stands only 3 feet tall.”
Cal Simpson, noting metal detectors placed at the entrances to the House and Senate chambers in the State Capitol, says:
“I think what they should install are MENTAL detectors, and only those with a positive reading would be allowed in.
“It would keep down the crowd.”
Steve Bezet, of Plaquemine, says, “Want to know how many hunters there are in a south Louisiana family?
“Just count the rubber boots stuffed in between the cab and bed of the family pickup and divide by two!”
Glen L. Fink, of Walker, has a story about daughter Emily, 4:
“We went out to eat at a restaurant, and ordered onion rings. I noticed that Emily was only eating the batter.
“I asked, ‘Emily, you don’t like the onion?’
“She shook her head and said, ‘Daddy, I only like the RING!’ ”
Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0351 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.