Smiley Anders for July 12, 2012

I’m wrapping up our seminar on overused words and phrases, which could go on forever, it seems.

Here are a few late entries:

• Carl Enna, of Little Rock, Ark., is tired of “My bad.”
• Joe Guilbeau, of Plaquemine, has had enough of “Go figure,” and says “Enough already with ‘enough already.’ ”
• Ken, of Clinton, says, “I never cared for ‘the nature of the beast.’ ”
• Erma Reiley Henry says when someone asks, “Are you done?” she always wants to reply, “No, I’ve never been cooked.”
• T. Marcell, of Morgan City, is irritated when “someone starts a conversation with you using the saying, ‘Let me put it to you this way.’

“Personally, I don’t want them putting it to me in ANY way.”

• An anonymous reader has a list of pet peeves: “Can I be frank with you?” “Know what I mean?” “Just saying!” ”On up in there …”

And “a misused phrase that drives me crazy is “a 360 degree change.

“If that’s the case, you’d be right back where you started, therefore having experienced no change at all — it’s 180, people!”

• Eddie Cole says, “Whenever I’m guilty of using the phrase ‘I may be getting old, BUT…,’ my good friend, Brother Pat McGinity, always interjects with, ‘Stop, you ARE just getting old, PERIOD!’

“That usually ends the discussion.”

• And Ronnie Laird says three greatly overused words he could do without are “Kardashian, Gaga and Beiber.”

Hamming it up

Dr. George Bourgeois, of Opelousas, says, “About a month ago my little brother, retired physician Dr. Steven David Bourgeois, now a resident of Rio Rancho, N.M., had open heart valve replacement surgery.

“One night recently he called and told me that he was convalescing well, but he was having almost irresistible urges to one, eat slop, and two, go out and find some mud to lie down and wallow in.

“I asked him if he thought these urges might be due to the pig valve that was used to replace his valve.

“He thought about this for a moment, then replied ‘Oink.’ ”

Inquiring Minds Dept.

After I mentioned the upcoming Red Stick Regional Sanctioned Solo Bagpipe Competition, I heard from Richard Guidry, of Zachary, who asked, “Just how can you tell if a bagpipe is out of tune?”

Eggs-citing response

After Jennie Corbin, of Bunkie, asked in the column if anyone knew where to get a darning egg, Linda Henning says she called her:

“I called to offer to send her one of my darning eggs, and she was thrilled to report that she has received six so far and plans to use them all.

“Her husband must be working overtime to provide her with holes.”

Jennie also wrote to confirm that she now has a good supply of eggs:

“My husband has already presented me with his ‘holy’ socks …”

Good Samaritans

Janice Breaux says, “I tripped and fell July 4th on the downtown levee. My ankle was sprained.

“My granddaughter was unable to help me.

“I want to thank the gentleman who tried to help on his own. I also want to thank the two gentlemen who helped me get up off the road and sat me on the sidewalk.”

Special People Dept.

• Bess Albritton, formerly of Baker, now at Grace Nursing Home in Slaughter, had her 95th birthday Wednesday. Her birthday party is from 2 p.m. to 4 p.m. Saturday at First United Methodist Church of Baker.
• James and Louise McCasland, of Prairieville, celebrate their 60th anniversary Thursday.

Old news

Regular Reader says our recent mention of high school reunions brought back this memory:

“A number of years ago I was friends with a couple.

“It was his second marriage and her first.

“He was old enough to be her father, but it was a very happy marriage.

“One day he asked her if she would like to go to his high school reunion.

“Her reply was, ‘Oh yes, I just love geriatric conventions.’ ”

Literary criticism

Hal W. Gould says, “Speaking of Noah Webster, I did read his latest book.

“Not a lot of plot to it, but his use of vocabulary is exemplary!”

Calling Miss Manners

Dawn Strickland overheard this conversation at a local business:

“A woman had her young daughter with her at the counter.

“The clerk asked the mother if her daughter would like some stickers.

“After handing the stickers to the youngster, the mother tried to prompt her daughter into expressing appreciation with the question, ‘And what do you say?’

The girl’s answer was, “Are these mine?”

Write Smiley at [e-mail]. He can also be reached by fax at [phone] or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.