Smiley Anders for July 20, 2012
Stories of deserts, cars, churches
(Editor’s note: Smiley is on his Well-Deserved Vacation, but he left some tales from the turn of the century:)
Dry wit
Heard from Mark Pfister, who was at WBRZ-TV and did some stand-up comedy here in the mid-to-late ’80s.
He’s now with KLAS-TV in Las Vegas.
“I have the best job in the world,” Mark says. “I’m a weatherman in the desert!
“‘Now here’s Mark Pfister with the weather. …’
“‘Hot! Back to you, Bob!’”
Thought for the Day
From Pierre Broussard, of Abbeville: “Putting your best foot forward at least keeps it out of your mouth.”
What’s that blinking?
J.C. Robillard, of Port Allen, says, “If, after buying a car, you find you have to spray WD-40 on the turn signal mechanism to make it work, then you know you have a Louisiana used car.”
Fast talk
Perry Brandao overheard a driving instructor and his four students talking shop during a refreshment stop at a McDonald’s.
The students were saying that most police officers will cut you a little slack if you are only going a few miles over the posted speed limit.
“That’s true,” said the instructor. “But what would you expect if you were going, say, 50 in a 35-miles-per-hour zone?”
A bright young lady quickly answered, “In Baton Rouge I would expect to get struck from the rear.”
Thought for the Day
From Algie Petrere: “Middle age is having a choice of two temptations and choosing the one that will get you home earliest.”
The ultimate threat
Dudley Lehew came across this story from the Rev. Dave Charlton.
He said that after a worship service at his church in Newcastle, Ky., a mother with a fidgety 7-year-old boy told him how she got her son to sit still and be quiet.
About halfway through the sermon, she leaned over and whispered, “If you don’t be quiet, Pastor Charlton is going to lose his place and will have to start his sermon all over again!”
Lonesome in Acadiana
I heard this story told to illustrate the nature of religious preferences in south Louisiana.
A gent visiting a little Cajun village noticed a huge Catholic church in the center of town, taking up a whole block.
As he continued his stroll, he saw a one-room frame building on a tiny lot, with a sign reading “First Church.”
He saw a gent mowing the small lawn, and asked him, “Where’s the pastor?”
“That’s me,” said the mowing man.
“What denomination is your church?” the visitor asked.
The preacher smiled ruefully and said, “What would you like?”
Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0351 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.