Editor’s Note: While Smiley is on his Well-Deserved Vacation, here are some items from past columns he left behind.
Jack H. Terry tells of the children lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic school for lunch.
At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.
A nun had made a note:
“Take only one, God is watching.”
As the students moved through the line they saw at the other end of the table a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
One of the little boys had put a note on them:
“Take all you want, God is watching the apples.”
Shirley Fleniken tells of the newly married man who asked his wife, “Would you have married me if my father hadn’t left me a fortune?”
“Honey,” his bride replied sweetly, “I’d have married you no matter WHO left you a fortune!”
Thought for the Day
From Judi Exner-Parker, of Denham Springs: “If you can smile when something goes wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.”
Armed and dangerous
Jim Griggs tells of the time he realized his son was watching too many cowboy movies:
“When he was about 7, I left him in the backyard with his new slingshot and a bag of marbles, after telling him not to shoot toward the house.
“Just as I got inside, I heard the sound of the utility room window breaking.
“I went out and asked him what had happened, reminding him I told him to shoot away from the house.
“He said, ‘I tried to, but I was loading a marble — and, Daddy, this thing’s got a HAIR TRIGGER!’ ”
An electrifying event
Joe Guilbeau, of Plaquemine, says when electricity first came to rural Acadiana, folks encountering it for the first time were amazed by the phenomenon.
They were especially dazzled “when they came to town and heard music coming from the new speakers that were being hung high on the walls of all the dance halls.”
Joe says it wasn’t unusual to see someone walk up to a speaker, look up, stand on tip-toe and yell a request to the band — “Play ‘Jolie Blonde’!”
A. Blythe says granddaughter Jennifer, 7, is not one to take any flak from smart-aleck guys.
When a child at school teased her about her glasses, calling her “Four-eyes,” she responded:
“At least I can take my glasses off — what can you do about your face?”
Richard Guidry, of Zachary, says, “You know you’re getting old when ‘being a little hippie’ does not have the same meaning it did in the ’60s.”
Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0351 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.