Smiley Anders for Monday, June 11, 2012
(Editor’s Note: While Smiley is taking a brief respite from his daily toil, here are some items that appeared in his column earlier in this century:)
Positive thinking
Tibby Thibodeaux, of Greenwell Springs, recalls the time during World War II when he and other soldiers were attending Mass under a tree as the Battle of the Bulge raged around them.
When the Germans started shelling a nearby area, the priest told his nervous congregation that the shells were out of range and should not divert their attention from the service.
“Just think, you are lucky,” he said.
“You could be in the States attending Mass, and the ushers would be passing the collection plate about now.”
The littlest theologian
Kim Brown, of Donaldsonville, reports this conversation with daughter Jordynn, 3, one Sunday as the family was getting dressed for an early service:
Jordynn: “Mommy, I don’t want to go to church.”
Kim: “You have to go to church.”
Jordynn: “Why?”
Kim: “Because Jesus wants you to go to church.”
Jordynn: “Well, why is Jesus never at church?”
Solar bears
Bertha Hinojosa says her first-grade class of international students is enjoying learning about animals.
“Recently,” she says, “we studied bears: their diet, habitat and hibernation.”
She asked the class, “The bear is very cold. Where do you think the bear should go?”
A little boy from Cuba exclaimed, “Why doesn’t the bear just go to Miami? It’s always warm there.”
Seeing spots
Med Hogg tells of the time he stopped for lunch at a small restaurant in north Louisiana.
After he finished his hamburger, Med noticed a slice of pie on the counter and told the waitress, “I’ll have that raisin pie for dessert.”
The alarmed waitress quickly scooped up the pie slice and informed him, “That ain’t raisin.”
Everybody’s a comedian
Rick Pitcher says he and son Greg, a sixth-grader at Runnels School, were discussing a news article about newly discovered soil conditions in California that may leave the region even more prone to severe earthquakes.
Says Rick, “Suddenly Greg protested, ‘But Daddy, it’s not my fault!’
“After a few seconds of reflection, his grin made me realize I’d been had!”
Fair question
Dudley Lehew came across the story of an airline pilot who on one flight made a very hard landing.
As is customary, he stood at the door smiling at the departing passengers and thanking them for flying on the airline.
Because of his bad landing he expected some passenger to make a smart comment, but no one did.
Finally, everyone had gotten off except a little old lady.
When she got up to the pilot, she asked, “Sonny, did we land or were we shot down?”
Write Smiley at Smiley@theadvocate.com. He can also be reached by fax at (225) 388-0351 or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.