Smiley Anders for Feb. 10, 2012

Michael Arnold says, “You know, a lot of people complain about all the roadwork, the delays it causes and all the headaches involved.

“But there is one bright side to the mess: It allows us to see the Louisiana state flower — the roadside construction cone!”

Le Grand Les

Cathy Chapman, editor of the Kentwood News Ledger, says LSU football coach Les Miles will be grand marshal of the North Tangi Support Group’s Mardi Gras Parade at noon Saturday in Kentwood.

(Note to paradegoers: You’re to yell “Throw me something, mister!” NOT “Why didn’t you play Jarrett Lee?”)

Let’s show those kids!

Mary Eunice (the former Mary Frances Stanford) has an excellent reason for seeking some old photos:

“I met my future husband, Roy, at Leo’s Roller Rink in 1949. We dated all through high school, and 90 percent of our dates were on Friday and Saturday nights at Leo’s.

“I am writing to see if any of our friends from back then would happen to have any pictures of us at the rink.

“Our six children and 20 grandchildren don’t believe we could even stand up on skates, let alone actually dance skate. I need PROOF!”

A correction

I don’t want to accuse Jocelyn Gauthreaux of deliberately putting out misinformation, so I’ll just say her recent statement was incorrect.

In announcing that I was judging floats in the 50th Addis Volunteer Fire Department Parade (at 11 a.m. Sunday) after a 30-year absence, and that meteorologist Jay Grimes would be joining me in the deliberations, she went on to make this false comment:

“Note: To all floats, Smiley does not take bribes!”

Next time get your facts straight, Jocelyn!

Plank burgers

Continuing our Plank Road memories, Ron Browning (Istrouma High ’60) asks, “Do you remember the two hamburger places named What-A-Burger and Chuck Wagon?

“One was located close to Redemptorist. Those ‘wheel burgers’ were the flattest burgers I ever saw.”

Ron adds, “Here’s a project for someone — name all of the stores at Delmont Village, and don’t forget Little Folks.”

Which reminds me

When I was a student at LSU and working nights at Swift & Co., the meat packer, we handled the frozen patties for the burger places Ron mentioned above.

In the ’50s, the idea of preshaped frozen patties was relatively new, but the “portion control” technique enabled fast-food chains to cook uniform burgers quickly.

But, as Ron says, those frozen patties were pretty flat.

The ultimate burger

The first time I ordered a hamburger at the late, lamented Fairway View Club (which had been highly recommended by a co-worker), I sat at the bar and looked into the kitchen.

I saw the cook, a lady of considerable substance, reach into a large metal bowl of ground beef, take out a handful, and pat it between her hands into the proper size for a burger.

I knew then I was in for a treat…

Happy returns

Barbara Chinn thanks the manager at the Big Lots store on Florida Boulevard:

“He found my wallet on the ground outside of the store by his truck and gave me a call so he could return it.

“This says a lot for customer service at Big Lots — they not only have a manager who helps customers inside the store but also on the outside…”

Worthy causes

Circle Civitan Club sponsors a Mardi Gras dance and jambalaya for developmentally disabled adults Sunday from 4 p.m. to 7 p.m. at American Legion on South Wooddale.

Call Linda at [phone].

Special People Dept.

• Yvonne Favrot Bertolette, of St. James Place, celebrates her 96th birthday Saturday.
• Leo “Sweetness” Blaize, of Port Allen, celebrates his 95th birthday Saturday.
• On Saturday, Charles J. Simon Sr., of Mansura, celebrates his 90th birthday.
• J.R. and Theresa Gordon, of Denham Springs, celebrated their 55th anniversary Tuesday.

Do Tell!

When he saw this groaner, J.H. Martin was reminded of the late Roland Daigre, whose horrid puns appeared in this column for many years:

“Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers.

“Unfortunately, all the Swiss league records were destroyed in a fire … and so we’ll never know for whom the Tells bowled.”

Thunderous entrance

Joe Guilbeau, of Plaquemine, tells this one:

“The graveside service was just barely finished when there was a massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance.

“The tiny, timid old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, ‘Well, she’s there.’ ”

Write Smiley at [e-mail]. He can also be reached by fax at [phone] or mail at P.O. Box 588, Baton Rouge, LA 70821.